Major Rude Nasty Family?
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I think writing him a letter laying out all of your feelings will help.....help you to begin to heal, that is. (And hopefully, will make your dad see what an *** he has been.) I would assume he is so nasty because he hasn't really dealt with your mom's death, and is still burdened with grief which he doesn't know how to handle. Perhaps being nasty to you (and presumably others) is his outlet -- whether he recognizes it or not.
Back to the letter -- I have found personally, that it is a good way to communicate in matters such as this, as you have time to think about what you're going to say, and phrase it exactly how you want it to come across. A lot of times, talking leads to anger, fighting, saying things you may later regret, and/or neglecting or forgetting to say things you had wanted to. But again, this is just what I have found to be an effective way of communicating grievances.
If this last ditch effort doesn't rectify the situation, you need to move on. I hope you have plenty of friends. You sound like the strong type, and a survivor despite all you've been through. Good luck to you. (Sending positive vibes your way!)
BTW, if at all possible, try to get the $$$ to pay your student loans elsewhere.
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